Look, nobody wants to read your life story in the first message. Keep it short, keep it interesting, and make it about them, not you.

The formula that works is simple: notice something specific from their profile, make a playful comment or ask a fun question, and keep it casual. That's it. No essays, no interview questions, no compliments about their looks right off the bat.

Here's what actually works. Instead of "hey beautiful" or "what's up", try something like "saw you're into rock climbing, ever fallen off?" or "that pic from the concert looks wild, who'd you see?" It shows you actually looked at their profile and you're not just copy-pasting the same message to everyone.

Timing matters too. Send messages in the evening when people are bored and scrolling. Late night messages can work if you're both clearly looking for something immediate, but don't lead with something too forward unless their profile makes it obvious they're down.

The biggest mistake? Being too respectful. Yeah, you read that right. This isn't a job interview. A little playful teasing or a slightly edgy joke works way better than being super polite. Obviously don't be a creep, but don't be boring either.

And if they don't respond? Who cares. Send one message, if they're interested they'll reply. Don't follow up, don't ask if they saw it, just move on. There are literally thousands of other people on here.

One more thing - if someone's profile explicitly says what they're looking for, acknowledge it. If they say "just here for fun" or "nothing serious", you can be more direct. If their profile doesn't specify, feel it out with the first few messages.

The goal of the first message isn't to seal the deal, it's just to start a conversation. Once you're chatting, you can build chemistry and then suggest meeting up. But you've got to get that first reply, and now you know how.